Urban Dictionary Gets It Right Again

Today I have fake nails on, so I can't type properly, which has left me looking up definitions for slang online. The top 10 most spot on UD definitions.

chav

Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.

My mate has become a chav what can i do? answer is shoot him before it is too late

SPOT ON

Narnia

A place so far in the closet, Justin Bieber isn't even there.

Narnia...a place so far in the closet, Justin Bieberisn't even there.

SPOT ON

Justin Bieber

A 15 year old who looks like and sounds like a 10 year old. (hasn't hit puerberty yet) who has made one song called "One Time" where he throws a party at ushers house with no alchol or weed. just a clean party. the song sounds like a little kid screaming at you on xbox live.The truth is all the girls care about his looks. (blonde hair brown eyed skater faggot) he is the worst thing to come to music since the jonas brothers, hanna montana, and naked brothers band.

hey that song sounds like a dying cat

naw.. its my little sister listening to justin bieber

SPOT ON

boybelieber

A guy who tells girls that they are beliebers just so they can get laid. They've usually done a lot of research so that they're ready to hold out through an everlasting and stupid discussion about how hot Justin Bieber is.

Belieber: OMG!!!!111 Justin Bieber is so damn hot!<333 
Boybelieber: I totally agree! That kid has so much talent! 
Belieber: :D <3 Want to have sex? 
Boybelieber: Sure! 
Boybelieber (to himself):Gotcha!

SPOT ON

love

nature's way of tricking people into reproducing

SPOT ON

One Direction

Another mind-numbing over-hyped, under-talented pop group made up of complete nobodies who won't have a career in five years time and won't even be remembered two years after that.

Typically listened to by pre-pubescent children and young teenagers who have no taste in music and will eat up what ever rubbish is served to them. Typical music listened to is the likes of JLS, The Wanted and other god-awful mainstream nonsense.

One Direction fan: OMG!!! Have you heard of one direction?! They are like soooo kewelsiez!! I <3 Them!!!

Metal Head 1: One Direction? Yeah, STRAIGHT INTO THE BARGAIN BIN!!!! LOLZ!!! NEXT!!!! \m/

Metal Head 2: Erm, have YOU heard of DECENT MUSIC??? Jesus, what a load of utter shite!!!

SPOT ON

Pop Music

Probably the worst, most degrading music on earth. Simple, fake beats and talentless singers do not make for good music, yet this shit is eaten up by teenyboppers and the mainstream. The lyrics suck as well.

I refuse to listen to radio due to this pop music.

SPOT ON

Sorry Not Sorry

3. Something stupid, bitchy girls say to make excuses for saying stupid and bitchy things.

I throw out perfectly good food when people are starving in Africa, sorry not sorry.

My boyfriend checked you out, I'm glad your mom has cancer, sorry not sorry.

SPOT ON

Directioner

A psychotic barbarian who is obsessed with the boy band, One Direction. They are the deadliest of all fandoms. They are rude and crazy, hating on girls who meet 1D and not letting new fans into their "fandom" (as it's very exclusive apparently). The only way you can be considered a Directioner is if you have watched One Direction since X Factor and know every single little inside joke there is to know. Once you have that down, there is a rule book. Yes, they are so crazy that to be in their fandom, you must follow the rule book. Break one of the rules, and you will be considered a "Directionator". Once you have been labeled that, they will call you stupid and say things like "oh, you must be new here", or "omg how dare you say Niall is the ugly one."

Directioners all have tumblrs and no social life. They spend hours reblogging pictures of 1D and making gifs of the same stuff over and over. They say things like,"I would love to break tables with Zayn" or "OMG my ovaries just exploded." They also think that jokes from 2 years ago are still funny. i.e. Carrots, spoons, and pussy. Directioners are robots who think that One Direction have no flaws and in their eyes are "absolutely perfect". If you just started to like One Direction after their first single came out, then you are not a proper Directioner.

"OMG I bawled my eyes out after I found out what Moments was really about!!"

"OMG Zayn's new haircut... R.I.P. ovaries."

"We can't use spoons. We love Nandos."

"OMG Louis was so funny at that part! Oh, and this part! And that!"

"I know exactly where the boys will be tomorrow. I'm going to go wait there for hours just so I can meet them!"

"Directioners know they are all gay for each other!!"

The amount of hate this dude got for that definition was insane. Pretty much all along the lines of 'go fucking die you fucking cunt'.

ANYWAY

Swagger Jagger

A miss interpretation/ Miss hearing of "Swagger Jacker".

Commonly misheard by uneducated, illiterate teenagers, who think they are "Gangstar as F***".

The term is infact Swagger JACKER: Someone who "Jacks" your look, style, sound etc... Taking it and passing it of as their own look/Material/ Shit, Etc.... 
"Yagetme"?

If they spent more time listening and less time chatting shit they might manage to look a bit more "in" and less like the wet drip that they truly are.

Cher Lloyd hs produced a terrible CD using the miss interpretation "Swagger Jagger" Thus making her both a national laughing stock and an embarrassment to this country.

MISS INTERPRETATION: "Hnnnggggg, huh huh. check u owt lookina me cos im sumfink u wansa be me u is a pure swagger Jagger. get ya own shit".

CORRECTION: 
"Help! Help! Someone call the police. Someone has HighJACKED my swagger and I would like it back with immediate effect. It still had all my best bling on it and my only limp".

"Excuse me officer, that young man over the street looks to be scoping to jack someone else's swagger and I believe him to be a professional swagger Jacker. Please look into it further as I have been practising my swagger for many years and wish to keep it in the family".

Sarcasm

I can't be asked today so I thought I'd provide you with band-related sarcasm.

NO CHILDREN

YES FAKE WILL FERRELL ACCOUNT

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WTF IS THAT OUTFIT?

HM...

EMINEM IS A FAR BETTER RAPPER IF YOU'RE INTO THAT SHIT, AND FALLING IN REVERSE IS NOT METAL, I ACTUALLY HATE THE GUTS OF WHOEVER MADE THIS

I LOVE WHOEVER MADE THIS

IT READS 'DESIGNED FOR HUMANS' IF YOU CAN'T SEE

You Aren't A REAL Fan!!!

I think we've all seen the fan police around somewhere, even if they weren't at our side. You get a lot of people going "You aren't a real fan if..."

I'm going to create a set of fan rules.

1) To be a fan of a band doesn't mean you have to like the members. For instance, I've always thought Metallica were brilliant and extremely talented, but I don't like Lars Ulrich as a person. That doesn't detract from the fact that he is talented as fuck, though.

2) To be a fan of a band doesn't mean you have to like every album. I like Asking Alexandria, but I think their first album sucked.

3) To be a fan of a band doesn't mean you have to like their fanbase. I mean, there are a lot of 5SOS fans that hate the 5SOS fandom. 

4) To be a fan of a band doesn't mean you have to hate on people who aren't. E.G, I bought 'The Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance and my friend told me she couldn't stand them because they were too emo. We're still friends. I don't give a fuck- I like MCR, and that's all that matters.

5) To be a fan of a band doesn't mean you have to justify everything they do, or constantly be at their defense. When Justin Bieber was arrested for being under the influence, a load of Beliebers were like "It's only a DUI, it's only a DUI!"
He could have fucking killed someone. That's not OK. Get your shit together.

6) To be a fan of a band doesn't mean you can't have a favourite song by them. I like (the old) Panic! at the Disco, but I like The Ballad of Mona Lisa more than any of their other songs.

7) To be a fan of a band doesn't mean your favourite song of theirs can't be their most famous song. I love Of Mice and Men, but my favourite song is Second and Sebring, their most famous song. It's still a good song. 

8) To be a fan of a band doesn't mean you want them to be globally famous. Sometimes its nice to be a fan of a band that isn't famous enough to attract poser fans or fake fans.

9) To be a fan of a band doesn't mean you can't think that any of the members are attractive.

FURTHERMORE

1) You are not a fan of a band if you like their looks more than you do their music.

2) You are not a fan of a band if you send hate mail to their friends/girlfriends/boyfriends that you don't like.

3) You are not a fan of a band if you say- "You can't like them, I like them.", I've done this before, and then realised I was being a fucking twat and apologised.

4) You are not a fan of a band if you only know one song. If someone asks you "Do you like (Paramore) you simply reply "I only know (Misery Business) but I really like it."

I realise this was a kind of petty article. Oh well, comment your opinions.

I thought this Danny Worsnop/ Ben Bruce/ Justin Bieber meme was topical and necessary.