Urban Dictionary Gets It Right Again

Today I have fake nails on, so I can't type properly, which has left me looking up definitions for slang online. The top 10 most spot on UD definitions.

chav

Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.

My mate has become a chav what can i do? answer is shoot him before it is too late

SPOT ON

Narnia

A place so far in the closet, Justin Bieber isn't even there.

Narnia...a place so far in the closet, Justin Bieberisn't even there.

SPOT ON

Justin Bieber

A 15 year old who looks like and sounds like a 10 year old. (hasn't hit puerberty yet) who has made one song called "One Time" where he throws a party at ushers house with no alchol or weed. just a clean party. the song sounds like a little kid screaming at you on xbox live.The truth is all the girls care about his looks. (blonde hair brown eyed skater faggot) he is the worst thing to come to music since the jonas brothers, hanna montana, and naked brothers band.

hey that song sounds like a dying cat

naw.. its my little sister listening to justin bieber

SPOT ON

boybelieber

A guy who tells girls that they are beliebers just so they can get laid. They've usually done a lot of research so that they're ready to hold out through an everlasting and stupid discussion about how hot Justin Bieber is.

Belieber: OMG!!!!111 Justin Bieber is so damn hot!<333 
Boybelieber: I totally agree! That kid has so much talent! 
Belieber: :D <3 Want to have sex? 
Boybelieber: Sure! 
Boybelieber (to himself):Gotcha!

SPOT ON

love

nature's way of tricking people into reproducing

SPOT ON

One Direction

Another mind-numbing over-hyped, under-talented pop group made up of complete nobodies who won't have a career in five years time and won't even be remembered two years after that.

Typically listened to by pre-pubescent children and young teenagers who have no taste in music and will eat up what ever rubbish is served to them. Typical music listened to is the likes of JLS, The Wanted and other god-awful mainstream nonsense.

One Direction fan: OMG!!! Have you heard of one direction?! They are like soooo kewelsiez!! I <3 Them!!!

Metal Head 1: One Direction? Yeah, STRAIGHT INTO THE BARGAIN BIN!!!! LOLZ!!! NEXT!!!! \m/

Metal Head 2: Erm, have YOU heard of DECENT MUSIC??? Jesus, what a load of utter shite!!!

SPOT ON

Pop Music

Probably the worst, most degrading music on earth. Simple, fake beats and talentless singers do not make for good music, yet this shit is eaten up by teenyboppers and the mainstream. The lyrics suck as well.

I refuse to listen to radio due to this pop music.

SPOT ON

Sorry Not Sorry

3. Something stupid, bitchy girls say to make excuses for saying stupid and bitchy things.

I throw out perfectly good food when people are starving in Africa, sorry not sorry.

My boyfriend checked you out, I'm glad your mom has cancer, sorry not sorry.

SPOT ON

Directioner

A psychotic barbarian who is obsessed with the boy band, One Direction. They are the deadliest of all fandoms. They are rude and crazy, hating on girls who meet 1D and not letting new fans into their "fandom" (as it's very exclusive apparently). The only way you can be considered a Directioner is if you have watched One Direction since X Factor and know every single little inside joke there is to know. Once you have that down, there is a rule book. Yes, they are so crazy that to be in their fandom, you must follow the rule book. Break one of the rules, and you will be considered a "Directionator". Once you have been labeled that, they will call you stupid and say things like "oh, you must be new here", or "omg how dare you say Niall is the ugly one."

Directioners all have tumblrs and no social life. They spend hours reblogging pictures of 1D and making gifs of the same stuff over and over. They say things like,"I would love to break tables with Zayn" or "OMG my ovaries just exploded." They also think that jokes from 2 years ago are still funny. i.e. Carrots, spoons, and pussy. Directioners are robots who think that One Direction have no flaws and in their eyes are "absolutely perfect". If you just started to like One Direction after their first single came out, then you are not a proper Directioner.

"OMG I bawled my eyes out after I found out what Moments was really about!!"

"OMG Zayn's new haircut... R.I.P. ovaries."

"We can't use spoons. We love Nandos."

"OMG Louis was so funny at that part! Oh, and this part! And that!"

"I know exactly where the boys will be tomorrow. I'm going to go wait there for hours just so I can meet them!"

"Directioners know they are all gay for each other!!"

The amount of hate this dude got for that definition was insane. Pretty much all along the lines of 'go fucking die you fucking cunt'.

ANYWAY

Swagger Jagger

A miss interpretation/ Miss hearing of "Swagger Jacker".

Commonly misheard by uneducated, illiterate teenagers, who think they are "Gangstar as F***".

The term is infact Swagger JACKER: Someone who "Jacks" your look, style, sound etc... Taking it and passing it of as their own look/Material/ Shit, Etc.... 
"Yagetme"?

If they spent more time listening and less time chatting shit they might manage to look a bit more "in" and less like the wet drip that they truly are.

Cher Lloyd hs produced a terrible CD using the miss interpretation "Swagger Jagger" Thus making her both a national laughing stock and an embarrassment to this country.

MISS INTERPRETATION: "Hnnnggggg, huh huh. check u owt lookina me cos im sumfink u wansa be me u is a pure swagger Jagger. get ya own shit".

CORRECTION: 
"Help! Help! Someone call the police. Someone has HighJACKED my swagger and I would like it back with immediate effect. It still had all my best bling on it and my only limp".

"Excuse me officer, that young man over the street looks to be scoping to jack someone else's swagger and I believe him to be a professional swagger Jacker. Please look into it further as I have been practising my swagger for many years and wish to keep it in the family".

Sarcasm

I can't be asked today so I thought I'd provide you with band-related sarcasm.

NO CHILDREN

YES FAKE WILL FERRELL ACCOUNT

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WTF IS THAT OUTFIT?

HM...

EMINEM IS A FAR BETTER RAPPER IF YOU'RE INTO THAT SHIT, AND FALLING IN REVERSE IS NOT METAL, I ACTUALLY HATE THE GUTS OF WHOEVER MADE THIS

I LOVE WHOEVER MADE THIS

IT READS 'DESIGNED FOR HUMANS' IF YOU CAN'T SEE

Spamming My Favourite Celebs Will DEFINITELY Make Them Love Me!!!

If you've ever been on a celebrity twitter account, you'll probably have noticed that some people can be a little... over-zealous. It's common among fans of One Direction to spam them with twenty or so requests for follow backs because it would 'make them happy forever' etc etc.
However, what some people don't seem to realize is that you're a needle in a haystack. Most of the time, they won't even see your tweet, and sometimes, if you spam them THAT much, they'll block you. For instance;
This was copied and pasted from Twitter. I only took the username out for anonymity.
‏
@Harry_Styles
Hi Toronto. I'm very much looking forward to seeing you.
RETWEETS
66,659
FAVORITES
116,401
REPLIES
@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx1

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx2

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx3

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx4

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx5

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx6

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx7

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx8

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx9

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx10

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx11

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx12

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx13

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx14

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx15

@Harry_Styles hey baby, I've been supporting u since the beginning and i hope that one i can be part of those lucky people you follow. xx16

There was a series of other tweets reading exactly the same.
If anyone did that to me, I'd tell them to piss off, but they simply can't purely because of the sheer amount of spamming their fans do. Not only this, but the language.
Hey, baby!
YOU. AREN'T. DATING. HARRY. STYLES.
Someone said to me yesterday someone said "It never ceases to amaze me the amount of sexually frustrated thirteen year olds who fantasize about having sex with the members of 5SOS and One Direction." and that perfectly encapsulates the entire situation.

ANOTHER SITUATION- haters. Before I begin, a pose a philosophical question.

No, but seriously. NEWSFLASH CHILDREN, your idols couldn't give less of a fuck about people hating on them, there's no need to protect them.
E.g. if someone posts a statement such as "Young Kellin Quinn looks like an emo Harry Styles." (Harry Styles wishes, Kellin Quinn is the lead singer of Sleeping With Sirens, his voice is kind of annoying in my opinion, but there is no denying he's one beautiful motherfucker) there is no need for you to start up a fight.

^Kellin Quinn^

For instance, after I made a tweet that simply read "Jesus, I don't know why you'd like One Direction when there are bands like Pantera, that offer ACTUAL talent.". Harsh, perhaps, but nevertheless I got about twelve responses that all went along the lines of
"Ur jus jelus cuz 1D hav soooo much talent."
"STFU EMO!"
"Who dafuq is panterra r they like the vamps"
"Haterz gonna hate!"
"Ignor her @onedirection, dont let her hurt ur feelins"

Calm down!
Another thing is the trending topics. Now, I often look at the trending topics because I'm extremely interested in politics (yes, a 15 year old who likes Pantera and politics, they do exist) but there is nothing worthwhile- it's all #LOUISTOMLINSONAPPRECIATIONDAY and #WELOVEYOUZAYN and all that shit.

THINGS ONE DIRECTIONS FANS MUST LEARN

THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ONE DIRECTION AND THE MANUFACTURED EVENTS IN THEIR UNDESERVEDLY DECADENT LIVES. 

ANYONE WHO RESPECTS MUSIC HAS PRETTY MUCH EARNED THE RIGHT TO TREAT YOU ALL LIKE SHIT, SINCE THE COMMENTS MADE TOWARDS MITCH AND KENADEE LUCKER.

If you aren't aware, frontman of the deathcore band Suicide Silence Mitch Lucker passed away a while back and was met with comments from Directioners such as 'thank God he's dead, what an emo fag.' promptly followed by insults towards his daughter Kenadee such as 'If Kenadee Lucker misses her dad so much why doesn't she just kill herself too and stop whining.'

Oh yeah, Kenadee Lucker was five.
Five years old.
Five.

My closing statement?

One Direction should really go fuck themselves for all the good they spread across our already quite talent-free society.

5 Seconds Of Summer and Their Quest to be Punk-Rock

I am a long time reader of Rocksound Magazine, which is, for those of you who don't know, an English publication similar to the likes of Kerrang, The Rolling Stones, or Alternative Press.
This month's issue was a fantastic one, perhaps to make up for the controversy that would inevitably surround it. The cover band, were 5 Seconds of Summer, or 5SOS, as I will stylize them because I can't be bothered to type that out every time I refer to them.
In the issue, 5SOS discussed their adoration for bands such as Asking Alexandria and Blink-182, the fact that they are 'currently' confined to pop music, and how they believe that image will change over time. The writers at Rocksound, bless them, attempted to make it look like a good thing.
"When you first started listening to All Time Low, did you hear them namecheck Blink-182 and look them up? When you first stumbled across Avenged Sevenfold, did you have to see Guns and Roses for yourself to find out what all the fuss was about? 5 Seconds of Summer are about to do the very same thing, and turn a generation of kids currently familiar with nothing outside of the charts onto the likes of Mayday Parade, Yellowcard, All Time Low and countless others."
Whilst, at first, this might appeal to you. What's wrong with other people liking your bands? Absolutely nothing, that's what. (Unless you're a hipster, of course.) However, the people who are currently fans of 5SOS tend to be fans of One Direction, given that they toured together. One Direction are clearly a band that cannot be described as anything but pop.
With that in mind, let's think of what happened when 5SOS covered the originally beautiful songs, I Miss You by Blink-182. If you head to the original video on YouTube, the comments have now been littered with 5SOS fans saying things such as;
"5SoS is way better. This crap is scary and depressing. Stop bashing on my fav band like omg. They made this song way more popular than it was. If anything, this crappy band should cover it. Like omg."
No, that wasn't a joke. That was a legitimate comment that had been posted. There is also;
"This cover is good, but the original by 5SOS is still the best."

I can't deal with that. Blink-182 is one of my favourite bands, and everytime I go on that song, the comments infuriate me.
Props to the 5SOS boys, they seem reasonably intelligent, and they are aware that people don't like them. In fact, they've quite happily accepted it. However, their justifications in being 'the next big punk thing' are really lacking. One of those justifications being, for some inexplicable reason, that they must be punk because they've got a massive dedicated following.
Now, bands like Metallica and Pantera both have massive dedicated followings, and nobody in their right mind would ever label them pop, however the fans of bands like Metallica are not as dedicated in the same way.
For instance, major Metallica mega-fans might possibly buy all the merch and go to several gigs on the same tour, something like that. Perhaps even the most over-zealous of them would jump at Lars on the street, but that would be extremely softcore for the 5SOS Fam. (That's what their fanbase is called, I hear.)
Ashton (Irwin, drummer) goes on to explain that at a photo shoot, a picture was uploaded to Instagram featuring him sat in a chair shaped like an arse. Doesn't sound bad so far, does it? Not exactly 'top, top banter' as Rocksound describes it, but not bad at all.
Within thirty minutes, their fans had searched the web for every photo studio in Manchester that had the arse shaped chair and travelled there to spot 'the boys'.
Oh dear.
Bear in mind, their fans average from the ages of about 8-18, and this saga unfolded on a Thursday afternooon, so I imagine a lot skipped school do follow this exhilarating adventure only to discover that thirty  minutes was far too long and the 5SOS guys had already left.
They also go on about the rock and roll lifestyle.
"There's no one telling us 'Don't do that!'. We're very real online, as well. I post pictures of Calum's arse. We're over 18 years old. Sure, I might get drunk every now and then, that's normal. Okay, maybe more than every now and then, but we just have fun. We're teenagers."

They then go on to briefly discuss the fact that they want to save rock and roll. I hate that. But I won't attack them for it, because a lot of bands do it, and I'm a major FOB fan, but I refuse to buy their fantastic Save Rock And Roll album purely because of the title. (And perhaps the price, but mostly the title.) So I think it's just a personal pet peeve. I don't know though, if it annoys you, leave a comment.
Rocksound, being the brilliant publication it is, (no sarcasm, they're literally awesome) don't hesitate to acknowledge One Direction's overtone on 5SOS. 5SOS go to say One Direction gave them a fantastically gigantic opportunity to tour the world, and it seems understandable to a point. They name-drop Dave Grohl, saying that they always wanted to play a stadium like the Foo Fighters do and they got an oppurtunity.
They, then, make a fatal mistake.

"All of a sudden, we're supporting in a stadium and looking out at 90,000 people. You'd be insane to go 'Oh, stuff this! I'm going to play to my crowd of 7000 people."

In that sentence alone, my suspicions are confirmed, and every hope 5SOS have ever held of being perceived as even vaguely punk shatters around them. They're sellouts. You'd 'stuff' playing that stadium because of principles. Society projects forth an image of the perfect person, and punk still is, and always has been about saying "Fuck that! I'll do whatever I want!" and doing whatever you want. Punk was meant to be a war on mainstream, and once you tour with a band, you effectively connect yourself to them, and to connect yourself to perhaps the most mainstream band of the moment loses you any right whatsoever to call yourself punk.

That's my little rant. Please don't hate on me. Leave you're opinions though. If you disagree, I'll converse.